...I think I may be putting my 'place in Heaven' in jeopardy by posting this but....Let's face it, the chances of my getting there, at best, slim - Here you go!
This is blasphemey, but again funny...!
And why are they calling it 'Soccer'. It's Football people.
Another funny one
For other similar satirical items (see also "Incredibly Sexy Firefighter Tragically Dies In Steamy Blaze" and the MUST see "Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?") take a look at "Onion News"on YouTube, very funny.