Was away this weekend..

...In the city that never sleeps  (knackered now...) anyway, I sky plussed lots of TV and post a rather long nap to get over the jet lag, had a bit of a catch up session. Nothing I saw was pleasant, what a dire weekend of TV. I'm almost sorry I bothered to watch it now.  As an aside, I watched a really good Argentinean film on the plane which I thoroughly recommend to those of you who are as fed up with the X factor as I am….  “The Secret in Their Eyes”, check it out http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/filmreviews/7941375/The-Secret-in-Their-Eyes-review.html 

Speaking of the X factor…. The producers couldn’t have picked a better title for this week’s episode than “Fright Night” given the horrific performances on offer. When Simon said, at the top of the episode, “This is going to be a bizarre night...embrace the madness” he wasn’t joking. The majority of the songs appeared to have little to do with Halloween (if you ignore the fact that the performances of them were very, very scary). I couldn’t wait for it to be over.
Leading in the "most scary performance of the evening" stakes was Aiden the Axe Murderer. Fright night should really have been perfect for him, given how “strange’ he is…. Not only did he horrifically murder, in front of our very eyes, one of the most famous songs of modern times, he did it whilst twitching and grimacing like a deranged lunatic.  Simon’s summing up of the performance included the biggest understatement I have heard in a long time “That was bizarre”. Bizarre doesn’t even come close, whoever is in charge of Aiden’s medication needs to up the dosage big time. Whilst they’re at it, they can slip Dani a couple. She must be losing it to have thought that it was a good idea to let him do that. I don’t mind admitting that I was left more than a little disturbed by that performance, I shall be making sure all my doors are tightly locked tonight... 

Rest of the boys? Page didn’t wear the 80’s this week. He sang a non-Halloween related song well. Still don’t think he’s a pop star. I was on edge throughout Matt’s gut wrenchingly awful rendition of "Bleeding Love", fearful that he might think his blood curdling excuse for a  “high C” was appropriate given the theme. Fortunately, he spared us. He didn’t spare us his dreadful performance though…

Hang on; did I say Aiden’s was the weirdest performance? One word, “Wagner”, he was beyond bad.  I just don’t have words to describe how awful it was.  Louis said, “You’re the act that everybody is talking about on the show”. They certainly are, but for all the wrong reasons. That said I am not even remotely surprised that he made it through to next week. The dancers fondled themselves again – is that why people keep voting for Wagner? Because they know that Brian will have the dancers fondling themselves during his routine? We might as well all just give into the madness and sign up to the campaign….http://www.facebook.com/wagnercarrilho?v=wall#!/pages/Rage-Against-The-X-Factor-Vote-For-Wagner-Keep-Him-In/102407649826317.  Mary sang Barry Manilow in an effort to be more current. Deep, deep sigh. To be fair, it was written in the 70’s as opposed to the 50s/60s like her previous song choices.  I am now officially over Mary.

Belle Amie were really rather dreadful, I’m not sure they managed to sing one note in tune. Despite that, theirs definitely wasn’t the worst performance of the evening. Given they were up against Katie the Transvestite (who was predictably awful and decided to come in full transvestite regalia on Saturday), they would be justified in feeling aggrieved at being sent home.   Best performance of the evening for me was the half naked male dancers who were gyrating around the stage during Belle Amie’s performance – in fact I almost missed Belle Amie as a result. Brian definitely missed a fondling opportunity, but it seems only Wagner is allowed the unfair advantage of fondling dancers. One Direction were also very, very bad. The audience screamed a lot throughout the performance, I think it’s because they were terrified by how bad it was. (The person that disappointed me most though was the vocal coach, who is refusing to play ball on the comedy hair front. Spoil Sport).   

Rebbeca pre Cole
Becks looked a lot better than last week. Though I still think Cheryl is attempting to sabotage her in favour of Daddy Snow, as she has never looked as beautiful as she did BEFORE Cole got her mitts on her. She performed her non Halloween related song very well as usual, but then she has pretty much sang the same song for the last 4 weeks - she should have it down by now. Tracy sang well, but ruined it all by wearing Beck’s black lipstick from a couple of week back.  The dancers missed another prime fondling opportunity during her performance, but as discussed, she isn’t Wagner. Daddy Snow closed the show by proving her singing is just as bad as her rapping.  Surprise, surprise, despite a performance so dire that even SHE was reduced to tears, the Judges thought it was possibly the best performance of the season so far.  Is it just me, or do you get the feeling they want her to win?
Rebecca post Cole

My summary of Saturday’s show? Rubbish, bring back Beat Boxing Bing.....


  1. Nice observation re Becks! Hadn't realised til you pointed it out! Watching X Factor back must have been a massive disappointment because it was utter tosh! Well, you've learnt your lesson for next time when you are away! Press delete upon return if your mates have told you not to bother!

  2. I am certain my ears started to bleed during Aiden's rendition of Thriller...So yes, I have soooooo learned my lesson. Will consult with all of you before I submit myself to this kind of torture again.