11/11/2010

If I was an Apple pie, the Apples inside would be Orange....

The Germinator? I had no words, or so I thought.... until the actress appeared in the Octopus costume... Worse than Pants Man? You decide...

In the opening credits, Ludallen says "We're in tough economic times and in this climate, you need to stand out from the crowd". The 10 numptys (numpties?) that were left this week do stand out, but for all the wrong reasons....

Very early side note: For 2 weeks in a row Mini Pot has been up, dressed and fully made up, no matter what time they get called. Does this woman ever sleep? I'm beginning to wonder if she's some sort of a vampire. In fact, have we ever seen her outside during daylight? Scrap that, if the Twilight novels are to be believed, (and let's face it, despite the very, very wet Bella and Edward featuring prominently in them, we do believe), THEY CAN ACTUALLY SURVIVE DURING DAYLIGHT....

Anyway, back to the point - This week was everyone's favourite task, the Advertising task. The one the candidates traditionally balls up basically, for our collective amusement. Thankfully, this week, the numptys (I'm going with that spelling of it) didn't disappoint :-)
Ludallen?
Sorry another side note (indulge me..), it's probably just me but... does anyone else think that Ludallen looked like a much older and considerably less cute Woofit tonight? Don't pretend you've never heard of Woofits....

Back to the plot (finally), the task was to: create a new brand of household cleaner; design the packaging; create a radio ad; and create a TV ad. It didn't quite achieve the same level of hilarity as previous series - think Pantsman and the Geordie bloke who spoke in tongues (Phil?) memorable comment "It's like with Pantsman, people didn't get it at the time, they will eventually". An awful lot of time has passed and I don't know about you, but I still don't get it.... It was still cringe making though.
Cute Woofit?

The teams were led by: Alex (the unemployed communications manager) who claimed to be "phenomenal with advertising" and offered the fact that if he "was an Apple pie, the Apples inside would be Orange" as evidence of that; and the Army one (who's name later turned out to be Chris) who rather wittily (....) commented that Jo was "a bit of scrubber" as she owns a cleaning company. As is also traditional on this show, that meant he pretty much ignored everything she said for the rest of the episode. It was also the only witty, vaguely sensible thing he said for the entire episode - as evidenced by their ad, but more of that later.

The focus group was ignored in the case of Germinate (also traditional to be fair). Alex (the unemployed communications manager) hated it too and in fact, was convinced it would be laughed out of the advertising agency they had to present to. Despite that, they went with it and surprise, surprise, it was laughed out of the advertising agency and etc (deep sigh). On the upside, Chris thought it was funny, so funny in fact that his answer to the ad agency guy loaded question "how funny...on a scale of 1 to 10 do you think your add is" was "8". I think it began to dawn on him in the board room that it wasn't THAT funny after all, when Ludallen asked him if it was a conscious decision to make "a shockingly bad advert".

The only sensible comment Verruca made throughout the entire task was that it was a bad idea having a child in the advert. As is tradition, she was ignored. Probably because all she did, as usual, was whinge and moan and not actually contribute anything throughout the entire task. Apparently, alongside Alex (the unemployed communications manager) , she was the only one with relevant experience and yet she "was the only one not doing advertising". Really, perhaps she needs a few more years relevant experience to help her understand what constitutes advertising because I thought the radio "advert" that she was supposed to be responsible for fell into that category??? Luckily Stuart the Brand, who knew for certain that "influenza is cockney" was around to save the day. Verucca, as Ludallen succinctly put it, got away "Scott free". He also pointed out that he was as fed up with her constant whining as we are. I hesitate to say that perhaps that signals her demise next week, as Ludallen has fooled us with similar pointers in the past. In fact tonight, there was a moment or too of excitement when he announced that "at least"one of them would go and he didn't deliver. He can't stop me from hoping though.

The Army guy's team decided not to bother coming up with any ideas of their own (not a bad strategy given the quality of person we are talking about here...) and basically plagiarised from one of the mothers in their focus group. As one of the ad agency people pointed out, there was a "good idea struggling to come out", Army guy's team (tradition) beat it mercilessly back into it's hiding place. Army guy obviously does all the cleaning in his house as apparently he believes "sex sells everything", including cleaning products. I can only speak for myself here, but sex is the last thing on my mind when I'm cleaning the oven. There must be something seriously wrong with me because even the sight of the actress in the Octopus suit didn't move me... I am going to go out on a limb here and venture the opinion that the majority of women would agree with me on this one....

Feedback from the ad agency was that they found "parts of it distasteful". Only parts of it? I found the whole concept appalling. I can only assume that the reason Army guy thought the idea was acceptable is that he is also a vampire. A vampire who hails from the 17th century when it was accepted practice for the little woman to clean the house, whilst her husband drank wine, so she could offer him some rumpy pumpy octopus stylie, in a timely fashion...OK, maybe octopus stylie is taking it a bit far, (poetic licence again, but this is a blog not a witness statement, get a grip people). In fact I'm not sure what octopus stylie would actually be. One man with four women? I'm sure Army guy (and many, many other men) would have loved that...)

Alex (the unemployed communications manager) rather foolishly decided to bring Sandeesh (and Chris the Investment Banker) into the boardroom instead of Verruca, despite praising her performance on the task, which was ultimately his undoing. Had he brought Verruca in, instead of trying to second guess Ludallen and assuming he was fed up with Sandeesh, he might not have gone. The biggest shock of the episode for me was Ludllen's firing Alex "with regret"??? Was that because of the loss of one of the main opportunities for comedy moments going forward? It couldn't possible be because he thought Alex (the unemployed communications manager) was any good??? This is probably the right moment to ask if any one else out there is as worried about Ludallen as I am? There has been a marked absence of Ludallenism and we are at episode 6 and he looks like a hairy, aging Woofit (see above). Do we think Ludallen's going soft???

There was some, albeit it very minor, evidence the Ludallen may still be with us, in the boardroom comment "The Titanic won 12 Oscars, but it wasn't a good advert for cruising was it?"!!! I'm not sure that's enough to abate my fears though...

Did the right numpty go? It really should have been Verruca, but Alex (the unemployed communications manager), DIDN'T BRING HER IN. Deep, deep sigh.....

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