14/10/2010

X factor - Britain has gone mad....

Mon Oct 11

So, what on earth is wrong with the British viewing public? What are the judges listening to? Clearly not the same show as I am... Cher (apparently) was "amazing" and "current" and proved herself on Saturday. Clearly the vocals sound very, very different from the judges seats than they do over the t.v. Cher and Katie the transvestite both sounded like cats being microwaved (not that I have ever actually heard a cat being microwaved I hasten to add…) Wagner? I don't think I have adequate words to describe what a 'freak show' that guy is. Who the hell voted for these people???? The same one's who voted for Jedward last year no doubt….  Louis and Danni were definitely gaming, the group that went were infinitely better than Katie (btw is it me or was there only one line, repeated incessantly in her survival song) and they wanted to get rid of the threat early.  

Those of you who are connected to me on facebook will be aware of my utter abhorrence of the phrase 'bring it on' - which was mentioned on more than one occasion on Saturday.  I struggle to believe it can possibly have become common parlance in the UK…. In order to avoid the rot setting in, I am toying with starting up a campaign against the use of the phrase on reality t.v.  All contestants would be made to wear some form of device that administers a non lethal, but suitably painful electric shock every time they say it. Who's in?  Final point, Connie's boobs looked enormous in those dresses she wore this weekend, I was worried she was going to fall out of Saturday's dress, a la Judy Finnegan on that award show a while back. She looks so tiny normally, who knew?!


Whilst we are on the subject of reality TV, it seems that D and I were the only people foolish enough to watch "The only Way is Essex" on Sunday (summary below). It was cringeworthy, all of the worst Essex stereotypes collected in one hour long session. Inexplicably, it appears that everyone in that county is called 'Babe', perhaps to make it easier for the blondes to remember everyone's name? The high (or low depending upon your point of view) point of last night's gripping installment, was one of the female clones (fake tan/boobs/hair) having her unmentionables 'bejazzled' (use your imagination people)... Sadly, this show seems to have become part of my daughter's Sunday night car crash TV schedule ("Jersey Shore", "Keeping Up with the Kardashian's", "Spin Crowd" and now this...), so basically, I don't get to watch any TV on Sunday evening's. Deep sigh….. As luck would have it, I recently added to the enormous suite of Apple products that I own, in the shape of the new £99 Apple TV (which, incidentally, actually cost £141 after adding all the necessary accessories). I think I'll spend the next few weeks catching up on Mad Men and Heroes….

The Only Way Is Essex (Sun, ITV2, 10pm)

This is being billed as a “living soap” although it might be more of a living hell to some tastes. It’s a reality show of the ‘Jersey Shore’ type filmed in a world where fake tans, souped-up motors, getting your nails done and calling everyone “babe” are the order of the day. Apparently, everyone in Essex is either: a wannabe glamour model; in an aspiring girl band; or involved in the nightclub industry in some way. Due to the presence of some unintentionally hilarious people, though, it is actually very watchable: self-styled ‘Mr Essex’ ladies-man Mark Wright could be this winter’s Louis Spence. Can he actually hear what he sounds like? Amazing.

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